Super Smart.

28 Jun

Interested in a synopsis of Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina? You are, because it’s going to be a movie and The Intellectual Elite reads books before they become movies and you want to be a part of The Intellectual Elite and eat mesclun and quinoa and drink nasty-ass coconut water and claim you’re really torn about voting for Obama again because Jon Stewart offered some stark criticisms about his administration on that episode of “The Daily Show” you DVR’d because you were out hiking in your new Vibram FiveFingers. You want to read this classic because Oprah told you to YEARS ago and you want to be able to properly snark on Keira Knightley’s horse-toothed and extremely bony performance, but you’re intimidated by the fact that that junk is 742 pages long, including a motherf’ing glossary of Russian words and ain’t nobody got time for that. Fear not, for I can sum up Anna for you in three words (You should probably know that I did not read said book myself, but I did open it, flip through the pages, roll my eyes and loudly suck my teeth at its length, and then read the almost equally long synopsis on Wikipedia. I’m a lot of things and that includes honest.):

Bitches be trippin’.

You’re welcome.

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8 Responses to “Super Smart.”

  1. KP June 28, 2012 at 12:22 am #

    I’m hooked! Oh and that little link to check out my blog when I comment or like a post of yours, kindly ignore, because I’m suddenly feeling totally inadequate and like a clumsy, decidedly unfunny blogger who pales in comparison to your laugh out loud word play. Bitch. Now I have to walk my tired ass to the nearest mirror and tell myself 50 times that I am not inadequate, when really all I want to do is watch my damn crappy Bravo TV.

    • icanseewhyshessingle June 28, 2012 at 12:24 am #

      Thank you, and I love you, KP, and I will be sure to return the blog reading and liking and commenting love!

  2. Jacquie June 28, 2012 at 3:24 pm #

    Hey! I like coconut water (and quinoa), but don’t tell anybody. LOL

    • Ambrosia Jones September 3, 2012 at 2:28 am #

      I’m with you on the quinoa, but coconut water tastes like lies and despair.

  3. Sandra Appiah June 28, 2012 at 3:30 pm #

    LOL, Is it wrong that I’ve never actually heard of such book and that you have successfully cured me of ever wanting to attempt to know about said book. Just wanted to show some support because I know how needy you bloggers can be about your ‘work’. I get that feedback is necessary. You already know that I think you’re hilarious. I say, just find your niche and this could be big and I’m not just saying that just because. I like you enough to be honest. KEEP WRITING because first off it keeps me entertained (which is most important) and two, you could end up with a book deal or something and you’d have to put my name in the shoutouts. πŸ˜› Just saying.

    Yes I realize that paragraph was really choppy and annoying to read. I don’t care. πŸ˜›

    I’m waiting for more!

    • Ambrosia Jones September 3, 2012 at 2:27 am #

      Thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope you’re still reading! I’m going to keep writing!

  4. JAM UNIT NINE June 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm #

    “Ambrosia”,
    you inspired me to clean the cobwebs out of my Studio. thank you
    -JAM UNIT J.Ro πŸ˜‰

    • Ambrosia Jones September 3, 2012 at 2:29 am #

      Little ole me? You’re welcome! I’m glad to have been a help to a fellow artiste. πŸ˜€

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